Cruise 2024 - The Anniversary Cruise - Part 2 - Tortola

 

Day 3 – At Sea

I start the day by losing my cap. My mother taught me to never wear a hat while I'm eating so when we went to breakfast this morning, I carefully took off my favorite cap, a souvenir from Brookgreen Gardens, near Pawley's Island, South Carolina, and placed it under my chair. I then promptly forgot it was there. When did I remember? Long after the dining room had been reset for dinner, so I went to the customer service deck which maintains the ship's lost and found. I described my beloved hat in great detail, but the young lady said, "No, there is no hat like that in lost and found, sorry!" Oh well, I’ll check back again later.

The veteran's get together was just that, a veterans get together because the ship's staff forgot it was happening. So the twelve if us chatted among ourselves for awhile and decided to see if we could get together again later on the cruise. Again, I'm the only Air Force veteran, everybody else is either Army or Marine, with one Coast Guardsman. I did meet one Canadian and one Scot who spent fifteen years in Germany. One US Army veteran was later informed by Celebrity staff that his son died yesterday in Los Angeles. He and his wife will be getting off the ship in Tortola where Celebrity customer service has arranged for them to be flown to San Juan and then home.

The Scotsman, John, who turned out to be a police constable from the very north of Scotland. He met his wife in Germany as well, but Linda was a Brit serving in the Army in Mönchengladbach, about one hundred miles or so north of where I was stationed. We hit it off and have been together several times now. 

He had one of the best stories I've heard in years and I can't resist telling it, of at least my interpretation of the story. As George Bernard Shaw said, England and America are separated by a common language–it is even harder for Scots–but here goes:

John: "I've worked security duty around Balmoral castle, the Queen's personal retreat for many years, and got to know his Highness, the Duke of Windsor when he spent time at the castle as a youth. While cordial, we always maintained the correct decorum around the royal family, and "your highness" usually fell away to "sir," but lately, since Her Majesty's passing, things are quite a bit more formal. Last summer, my youngest brother and I were fly fishing a section of the river, having a bit a good luck, when a large entourage came up the river. The Gilley, the guide, came up to us and said, 'Lads, do you mind if the Royal party fishes through?’"

'No, off course not,’ we said and moved back with our gear as His Highness and his party approached. He recognized me and said, 'Hello John. How is the fishing? Any luck?'

'Aye, we're having a bit of luck," I answered. His Highness looked at my brother and asked, 'Which fly are you using?' to which my brother, leaning over, said, "We're not gonna tell ya!"

The King chuckled and said, "Quite Right!"

To which they all laughed and John's brother told him quietly it was a black pennel fly, 'Always use the black pennel fly!'"

Where else would we meet John and Linda, or Rick and Mary Jane from Toronto, or John and Sesh from Glasgow or Barry and Doris from Cape Coral but on a cruise ship?

The weather is calmer toward lunch time on Wednesday, our second day at sea, but it is overcast from horizon to horizon. Still no birds and no flying fish, either. A great time to sit down in front of my new Android tablet and type away. It does beat doing it by hand, so my notebooks of the future will be on memory sticks. I've got some reading to do as well so it is a great time to catch up.

We eventually wander up to the Fitness Center on the 12th deck and a major difference between this ship and the Island Princess snaps into focus. The Eclipse has a modern, well equipped, roomy fitness center, with magnificent ocean view as opposed to the Island Princess which is basically a small area below decks with as much Feng Shue as a broom closet with an overhead light bulb. We try several of the bicycles and spend sometime getting back into our exercise routine. Have to stay ahead of the calories. They had one of the de rigueur presentations from one of the on-board vendors in progress off to the side of the center. The subliminal on-board merchandising and marketing onslaught is perpetual, and to be quite honest, is rarely subliminal.

The bulk of the passengers is on display, spread around the swimming pool and the four hot tubs, spread out in lounge chairs in every nook and cranny. Yes, that is correct. read it again. The bulk of the passengers is on full display, with an occasional elbow or foot sticking out into the walkways make walking through the tightly packed chairs an exercise in caution. Cloudy weather does not stop the pool deck from being packed. The prophetic movie Wall-e comes to mind.

Day 4 – Tortola

The approach to Tortola, BWI

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me! How good can it get? I'm standing on the top deck of the Celebrity Eclipse watching the sunrise behind the small islands that mark the entrance into Road Town, Tortola, in the British West Indies. The entrance to Tortola is one of my favorites and I am one happy cruiser.

There are exactly five people quietly absorbing the moment. Two of them aren't even taking photographs, but I'm not one of them as I can't resist the opportunity. Ilse and I were here exactly twenty years ago, back when I was a young, spry sixty-two. Today is just more icing on the proverbial birthday cake. Having my wonderful, loving partner, my wife Ilse, through this life-long journey has been an experience we could only dream of, but every day we do our hugs and kisses and thank each other for being there. There is no way to express my love and appreciation than share the feeling with my life's partner.

We pull into the dock at Road Town and join the Norwegian Breakaway, already moored at the two boat facility. Ilse and I head for the dining room for breakfast. We take our time disembarking well after the rush has subsided.

We spend the day walking the small port town, identifying new buildings and looking at the all too familiar hurricane scars on the trees and shrubbery. The broken and battered poincianas were nevertheless blooming profusely. We walked to the JR O’Neal Botanic Gardens and are informed by the young attendant they no longer have the guest book we signed twenty years ago, and have regrettably instituted a visitors fee to alleviate the cost of repairing hurricane damage to the facilities. 

The three dollar fee probably won’t do much to replace the missing building that graced the entrance or even the small gazebo that housed their orchids, but we met several volunteers working in the small, pristine garden and even climbed the steps to sit on the plain wooden bench that was built years ago over the trunk of a banyan tree that has started life anew, just from a different angle. 

We tour the new - to us, anyway - shopping area at the foot of the pier and have an ice cream cone while listening to local musicians play in the gazebo at the end of the mall. A group of older school children walk through the mall, also with ice cream cones in hand, and seem as amused by the returning cruisers as we are by them. Kids everywhere are the same as kids anywhere else, and I can't help but laugh at how some of the older, more brash males push the boundaries of their mandatory uniform wear but somehow still stay in bounds. 

More fun than shopping for diamonds we really don't need.

Day 5 – Antigua

It is so quiet coming into Antigua's shallow harbor you can hear the roosters crowing on the nearby hillsides. A dog barks in the distance as we silently, almost without a ripple in the water, effortlessly impose our immense presence in our second port of call. The time is beginning to merge into sunrises and sunsets now, meaning we are probably half-way in our cruise. We're in Antigua? Really? Already?

For the first time, I don't bother to go up on top to watch our arrival but then there isn't much of a sunrise as it is partially cloudy and the sky is oddly colorless. I maneuver our deck chairs and get comfortable on the balcony. None of our cabin mates are on their balconies, so again it seems I am alone as we sail in to the harbor. 

Our silent, stealthy movement into the harbor seems so preposterous it is almost mesmerizing. To be eleven stories above the water, moving without leaving a trace on the placid, aquamarine colored water directly beneath us, listening to roosters crow is going to be a test to describe.

The serenity is rudely interrupted by a huge power surge from the rear thrusters just behind us. The water boils furiously, the opaque greenish blue water churns to milk-chocolate brown as the huge ship begins to turn around. The surging water is startling in its ferocity and its drastic change of color. The harbor depth must be the absolute minimum for these intermediate size ships, I seriously doubt the new big super-ships could get in here without scraping their hulls against the muddy bottom. 

The Eclipse will slowly spin completely around within its own length and slowly, methodically slip against the wharf, shoe-horning between three different sized dive-boats moored just a few feet away from us. Within ten minutes we are snug against the moorings. The restaurant at the foot of the pier is blasting Jimmy buffet's "It's Five O'clock Somewhere" so loudly it appears to be coming from the ship's sound system. They must think we have a boat full of Canadians.

The crowds on board last night were far more cordial and relaxed than the first several days when everyone was more reserved in their greetings and cordialities. It appeared most were obviously pleased with their earlier visit in the day to Tortola. Maybe they were simply glad to get back on the ship. 

Most of the people we've met on this cruise have been either Canadians or Brits. There are scatterings of other languages as well but the dominant presence of American passengers is missing from this cruise. The other John from Glasgow and I had a five minute conversation, laughing and joking, having a great time and neither one of us has a clue what we were talking about. Great stuff. Monty Python would have been proud of us.

As I sit here on our balcony, writing on my new Android Tablet, a tropical rain shower drifts across the docks. I can barely see the far side of the anchorage, but the misplaced alcohol inducing music is as obnoxiously loud as ever. We stayed on the boat for the peace and quiet and a relaxing reading and writing day, but we didn't plan on having the balcony door shut to do it. Yes, it was that loud! 

Ilse and I had already decided not to go ashore in St Johns, Antigua, and just take a day leisurely exploring the ship. We were here three years ago, and while the port has probably had extensive remodeling, I doubt the ankle-breaking holes and cracks in the town's sidewalks have seen any improvement. Not a bad place to visit, just different attitudes about what constitutes a paradise. Yes, we saw the church and spent the day walking where our fellow passengers weren't. We'd rather watch the local school children in their uniforms eat their ice-cream as they watch the crowds who seem to be totally unaware of them than visit T-shirt and jewelry stores. 

I finally found the difference between the two St Johns in the Caribbean. I knew there were two, one the island across the channel from St. Thomas in the U.S. Virgin Islands, and St John's Antigua, a bit further south, but I didn't know how to distinguish between them. Apparently, it's the apostrophe. The difference between the upside down comma and the plain vanilla version is about two hundred miles or so. We missed the first St Johns, USVI, back years ago when we didn't bother to get off the SS Norway–we overslept– and we simply have not had the opportunity to go back, but we have been to St John's Antigua twice. Maybe we'll get off next time we visit St John's, like, if the music guy blows a fuse or something.

We use the time to tour the ship and hit the fitness center. If we break a leg there it will be our own fault.

I can't help but wonder where the roosters go when the cruise ships hit town.

Next: Barbados and a wonderful reunion -

https://piddlepaddler.blogspot.com/2024/12/cruise-2024-anniversary-cruise-part-3.html

Cruise 2024 - The Anniversary Cruise - Part 1 - Shoving Off

OK, so I've been goofing off all morning instead of writing. I'm sitting on our old fashioned balcony of the aging Celebrity Eclipse high on the eleventh deck doing nothing but playing solitaire on my tablet and watching the mild-mannered ocean slowly drift by.

The Celebrity Eclipse at Port Everglades, Ft Lauderdale, FL

Ilse and I arrived at Port Everglades in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, yesterday, Monday, November 25th, 2024, with plenty of time to spare to board the Celebrity Eclipse. We are taking our ninth cruise, again in the Caribbean but this time to the southern chain of the Lesser Antilles, celebrating both our sixtieth anniversary and my eighty-second birthday. It will be a ten day cruise, which for us is the perfect duration. 

After the usual security checks and mandatory shuffling about, we are soon in our 11th deck cabin dropping off our carry-on luggage and changing clothes. We are quickly up on deck checking out the food courts. The upper deck buffet is usually the best place to grab a quick hamburger and French fries, or just about anything else they can think of. The Eclipse has such a variety of food available they even have large sections dedicated just to UK and Asian tastes. Our British friends call it the "Piggery."

Adios Ft Lauderdale!

We sailed past the high-rise condos alongside the Stranahan River, main cut on our way out to the Atlantic Ocean in the late afternoon sun. We had been delayed for about an hour as the ship's public address system kept calling for Michael somebody to please come to the customer service desk. Apparently Michael finally made it and we were underway. 

We noticed the huge Bon Voyage banner was missing from the 15th floor balcony of one of the high-rise apartments that I wanted to incorporate in my video. Funny how some of the minute details from past voyages are hard to forget.

Everyone we meet is typically excited as we all explore the ship and try to figure out where the dining rooms are. We catch a few of the entertainers performing around the ship and are excited by their talents. This will be a good cruise as Celebrity prides itself with its on-board entertainment and a real ship's band. We hit the bed early, but not until catching the first show. It has been a fast, occasionally tense week. Any time you have a passport involved, it usually is.

Port Everglades fades into the sunset

Day 2

This is our first morning on board, known in the industry as Day 2. It is a quiet, postcard type of day all cruise companies want in their advertising. Ilse pointed out a Brown Booby, flying low against the almost calm seas. It is the only bird we see for several hours. We are on the starboard, the right side of the ship and we are aft, or toward the stern, the rear of the ship. We usually reserve a cabin well forward but this cruise was pretty well sold out early so we were glad to get any cabin as long as it wasn't near the elevators. We find later the elevators run length-wise rather than across the ship, and they have their own alcove so the passengers on this ship are not inconvenienced by late night elevator traffic and noise. There are no elevators aft, or toward the stern so we have no worries about noise.

Since we headed out the Mallory Channel between Freeport and the cluster of "private islands" during our first night at sea, we got to watch the last of the island nation slip out of sight over the horizon from our starboard balcony cabin. It turns out not to be the end of the Bahamas after all as five hours later the Turks and Caicos islands, or cays, are due west of us. We are toodling, and I really mean foot dragging, or inner tube paddling, toodling. I could keep up with the cruise ship with my old pontoon boat and its top speed wasn't quite eighteen miles an hour. We left Ft Lauderdale yesterday twenty hours ago and we are still in the Bahamas. After our turn around yesterday, Monday, I thought the Captain might have to speed it up a bit to make Tortola by Thursday morning, but apparently not. Oh, did I forget to mention we turned around and headed back to the pier about thirty minutes after leaving Port Everglades? We didn't have to go all the way back to the dock because we were met by a big, fast boat of some kind that quickly disappeared to the other side of the ship. Soon afterward, the Eclipse once again did a full turn and headed back toward the open sea. By then it was the dark, open sea, away from preposterously illuminated east coast of Florida.

The Captain came on the ship's loudspeakers and apologized for a medical emergency as one of the passengers had to be evacuated from the ship. We think that's what he said. His heavy Greek accent over a loudspeaker mounted hundreds of feet away did nothing to clarify his message. He might have said they slowed the boat down so Michael and his wife could come on board for the Thanksgiving dinner as they missed the boat in Ft. Lauderdale, but then again, who knows?

At any rate, we are not speeding. This is our sixth trip down the outside of the Bahamas toward San Juan, and by far the slowest. It is also by far the smoothest outbound leg we've ever had from Florida. The weather is perfect with mild winds and partly cloudy skies.

We anxiously boarded the Eclipse, a sister ship of the Millennium we sailed on three years ago, in Ft Lauderdale, hoping nothing drastic has changed since we last sailed with Celebrity Cruises. We picked a Solstice Class ship because we loved the Millennium when we sailed on her just after the pandemic in 2021. The huge, newer Celebrity Beyond was berthed next to us and we were convinced then and there that the Eclipse is big enough.

One thing about the newer ships that we don't like is the typical income maximizing philosophy that the entire cruising industry is stuffing up everyone's agenda: More passengers per ship means more revenue in a shorter market cycle. It also means far more people trying to dine, exercise, drink, or just co-exist in a confined, encapsulated environment. We chatted with passengers who have cruised the newer line of bigger ships that Nostradamus has apparently prophesied to be the financial salvation of the cruise industry. Not one of them liked the new pseudo balconies that are standard on the Celebrity Apex class ships! The new balconies are not real balconies, but simply an extension of the room with a huge powered picture window that drops halfway down on the glass wall facing the ocean.

On the other hand, while the majority of loyal, veteran passengers prefer smaller ships and better service, the great, susceptible masses just don't seem to care. Drink, play in the pool, drink some more, and pretend they don't have a care in the world. They love the bragging rights about being on the biggest or newest ship, no matter how uncomfortable or unaffordable it really is. It used to be called the Emperor’s Clothes syndrome, I have no idea what they call it now.

Canapes in the afternoon - Nice touch

Apparently, most passenger can not entertain themselves for seven hours much less seven days, so the cruise lines have figured out how to do it for them. Mickey Arinson and Knut Kloster understood a long time ago that the mainstream population will gleefully go into hock simply to be entertained. Their resulting cruise empires have turned weekend gambling getaways from Miami Beach into a world-wide, mega billion dollar industry.

My wife and I are old school, we still read. My wife is a convert to the ebooks as are most of the passengers lounging around the pool. Cellphones and tablets are everywhere. USB charging stations are now far more important in the cabin than reading lamps. I still lug around paper books, though. I even brought a hard-cover book I've been trying to reread for months. We still listen to music without videos. We love good entertainment and love the onboard, if not somewhat truncated, musical and Broadway shows. We do not care about glass blowing or the politics of old Rhodesia, have never played scattergories or any "team sport" on a cruise ship. I'm not on a ship to take a final test to see how much I learned about any text book subject. We did sit through a karaoke show one time to help a friend, but that's about it. We were impressed in one on-line video we watched about the Eclipse's supposedly outstanding library. Well, maybe once upon a time, before the shelf's went empty, but today, it's mostly open-aired display of wooden shelving. The few books available are well worn.

Well, how about the other intangibles? The areas where Celebrity had out-shown its competitors when we sailed on the Millennium were often sadly diluted or even non-existent. A ten day WiFi package for the two of us is the same amount I pay for over five months coverage at home. Even as addicted to it as we are it is not a smart choice for us. For a supposedly up-scale cruise line, nickel and diming the passengers beyond covering the price, not just the actual cost of the cruise itself, has become a science, not just an art form. It is perpetual to the point of being oppressive. There are no free enhancement sessions or classes: they all have a sales hook. 

While we still laugh about the old days when the purser was not allowed to show a passenger's tally until it was slipped under the cabin door on the last night of the cruise, it was never the astonishing, often astronomical shock it is today, even if you can go on line at any time to see it. Having free unlimited coffee with breakfast, but being charged five dollars a cup for coffee with dinner is absurd. Six dollars and fifty cents for a small bottle of water is equally dickish, and unfortunately is a sign of worse charges to come.

Pallet after pallet of bottled water is loaded at Ft Lauderdale.
At $6.50 each they would remain unsold on land.

On-board guest services, formerly known as the Concierge, has always been a fine line between accommodating customer complaints and deflecting those who try to manipulate the service. The staff is trained to maintain the corporate profile as well as the corporate bottom line. But lately, I find they are more of an extension of the corporation's marketing arm. Pullman's famous bedbug letter has become the backbone of desk responses, although they do their best to fulfill most requests, including some really bizarre ones.

When we sailed earlier this year on the Island Princess, my travel agent mentioned Princess Cruises offered military rewards for veterans, all I had to do was present my DD-214–every veteran has one–and my customer profile was updated within a day without question. The customer service on the Island Princess also helped us resolve an issue that involved a hotel, a shuttle bus driver, and a handful of port people with an issue we assumed to be a lost cause. We had an overlooked tablet returned to us from a hotel after two days of effort, excellent service! I can't say as much about Celebrity. After an unpleasant encounter with one of the staff at the desk, I was brusquely informed they had nothing to do updating my customer profile. According to the service desk, that was my travel agent's job. Next! 

How about our first breakfast in the main dinner room where my wife's omelet was simply a fast-food pre-mix. We were quietly informed by the wait staff to next time ask for "fresh eggs." Not as bad as the horrible experience we suffered several years ago on NCL that extinguished our desire to ever cruise with them again, but if Celebrity isn't careful, they will get the same reputation for bland, barely edible food. Forcing the average cruiser to pay extra money for the specialty restaurants just for palatable food is not a good business plan. We sailed four cruises on NCL in the past, but their loss of value, mainly, but not exclusively, in the dining room, has removed them from our choice of cruise lines.

The industry has stripped down the costs so tightly the on-board jobs are no longer appealing the Europeans who dominated the food services before the COVID pandemic. While the reduced incentives for crews is still attractive for some southeastern Asian nationalities, the majority of staff are younger, most having less than three years experience as the pandemic forced many career staff and crew into retirement or other off-ship careers. The industry is squeezing the hired help as hard as it squeezes its customers. I couldn’t help but look up Royal Caribbean’s SEC filings just to get a handle on today’s cruising business. So if you’re interested, in 2023, the CEO of RCCL - RCCL is the parent company of Celebrity Cruises - earned $17,216,276 as opposed to the average RCCL employee who earned $18,073 for a CEO Ratio of 953:1. The S&P 500 average is 268 to 1. Makes that bottle of water mean so much more, doesn’t it?

We were glad to see some things haven’t changed. The Eclipse actually has an on-ship band, as did the Island Princess, and that is a defiant stand against an industry practice of cheap, canned musical scores instead of real musicians while singers and performers do little more than strobe-lighted karaoke. Watching live shows is a pleasure we have come to love while cruising. We have seen some great performances at sea. We've seen a few bummers as well, but not many. We know these costs are above what other cruise lines expend for entertainment, but I am willing to pay the cost up front rather than watch my credit card balance balloon on a daily basis.

The first show we catch on the Eclipse is one I recommend for just about anyone, the Rebels, and here I contradict myself. They brought their own music, but seeing the complexity of the show I know why. Don't be fooled by the hard rock attire and show-like posturing–the act is an homage to Rock and Roll–the opening number is the overture from Phantom of the Opera. Outstanding performance.

Dinner is nice as we have a reserved table in the main dining room and the food is good. The service is outstanding as we have the same wait staff as the first night and they already have taken notes about our foibles and fancies. Of course I start with my French Onion soup, the one single item I measure every cruise by. It passes with flying colors. 

We get to hear the assorted staff gather at our table and sing "Happy anniversary to you," - it was our 60th -  as they delivered a piece of chocolate cake with a straw-berry stuck in the frosting. We celebrated our  50th on a different cruise line that did not leave us with pleasant memories, so we were thrilled Celebrity once again made the experience memorable.  This piece of cruising remains basically unchanged from when we started cruising almost fifty years ago. Well, almost unchanged. Back then, coffee was included with your dessert, now it is a five dollar per cup add-on. It is good, but it ain't Starbucks.

Happy 60th Anniversary! Whee! 

There have been so many generations of cost cutters stripping what ever program is left over from the last "analysis" that soon we will have to pay a gangplank service charge just to get on or off the ship. The pandemic almost bankrupted the cruise industry, but they forget they weren't alone.

The cheapness doesn't leave a good taste in my mouth, and I have a feeling it is going to get worse. It won't get better because it was better before. Obviously the executives didn't like it. At the current charge of $5.00 a cup for plain coffee, I figure I drink at least fifteen dollars worth at breakfast and wonder how long it will take before some astronomically rewarded executive figures out how to offload the cost onto my room charge.

I predicted the money master executives would kill the golden goose if they got worse, but they got worse and the geese still trample each other to get on board.

Next: Honk! Honk!  Tortola https://piddlepaddler.blogspot.com/2024/12/cruise-2024-anniversary-cruise-part-2.html

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PS: To Anonymous, who left the comment "Well, this doesn't make me want to cruise, ever again. Glad you had a good time!" 

Ilse and I have been cruising for many years, and while not the extensive sailors as some, we know what we love and what we miss about cruising. Many of the the inexperienced newcomers to cruising are caught unprepared for the the charges incurred on today's cruises, even after prepaying for very expensive drink and WiFi packages and off-shore excursions. 

It is an exciting adventure and a wonderful way to vacation and make new friends, but times, they have been a-changing for quite a while now.

While cruising is the only way we know to sail the high seas, seeing natural vistas and sights that can not be found anywhere else, we have met people who skipped out on leaving gratuities for the ship's staff because they had run out of cash. We obviously love to sail on cruises, but I won't write sales copy for any cruise line. I have an agreement with them: I pay them for their services and they let me cruise on their ships. They are free too impress me anyway they want, and I am free to write about it as long as I document everything. Nothing I write is fabricated.

I'm sorry you no longer want to cruise again after reading my blog. I just want my readers to know how we found this really enjoyable, once in a lifetime cruise to be as memorable as any we have taken before, you just haven't read that far yet. Hopefully I can entice you to read more. I'm sure you will enjoy our call on  Barbados 

George