I rocked back and forth on my heels as we waited
patiently behind the red line admonishing patrons against having
cellphones beyond the Plexiglas barriers. Not allowed, the sign said.
Please forward all documentation via email or texts to the Tag agency
at the following e-address. No passing cellphones through the time/space portal of the translucent barrier that separates the world of the unknowing masses from the masters of the universe. If
you want to transfer your driver's license or register your car, the all-knowing beings on the other side of the
Plexiglas are indeed the undisputed masters of the universe.
Kind ones at least, in Clarke County, Georgia, home
of the National Champion College football team, the University of
Georgia Bulldogs. My wife and had I decided to relocate to Athens,
Georgia, and the first, mandatory actions were to transfer our driver's license and automobile registration.
The three county employees on the other side of
the Plexiglas were very busy as our diverse group patiently waited
for our turns. One of the patiently waiting was a tall, slender young Sikh wearing a dastar. The four other county representatives were apparently still
at lunch, causing the line to extend beyond the entrance alcove and
out the front door of the only automobile tag office in the entire
county.
I listened intently as the patron in front of me
turned dejectedly to leave. He stopped and said back over his shoulder, "In Florida, our proof of
insurance cards suffice to get our cars registered, but apparently
not here in Georgia.”
“No sir,” the young lady on the other side of
the transparent, dimensional separator. “Here you need the binder
from your insurance company to register the car. I’m sorry, but
you’ll have to return with the proper insurance document. Next!”
My wife and I looked at each other and slowly
approached the bureaucratic sanctuary, fully aware we didn’t have
the proper insurance binder either. All we had was the same proof of
insurance card required in Florida that all car owners have.
“Hello,” I said as I pushed the wad of paper
work through the access slot, “If this keeps up, there won’t be
anyone left in Florida. We’ve recently moved here as well. Have you
seen many of us moving up here.”
The young clerk looked up, her face mask covering
her face but not her dancing, expressive eyes.
“Yes, It’s becoming more and more common, let
me see if all this is in order.”
She dutifully read the old Florida title and
registration, then carefully looked over our brand new, temporary
Georgia driver’s licenses, and began typing furiously on her
computer keyboard. She glanced up and said, “I can issue the new
title, but not the registration. You’ll need the insurance binder
from your insurer as well. Sorry, but I can only do so much with
incomplete documentation. She slipped a blue stick-em note with the
amount $504.14 back to me and said, “This is the Ad Valorem tax
required to transfer the title.”
We thanked her, and headed immediately to the
nearest insurance agency that issued our policy. After an hour and a
half of travel, introductions and explanations, we headed back to the
county tag agency.
The counter positions were all staffed and there was
no waiting, and as luck would have it, the next open clerk was the
pleasant young woman we had earlier.
“Welcome back! All set?” she asked.
“We hope so,” I said as I pushed the newly
acquired paper work through the trans-dimensional portal.
She laughed, keyed a few lines and held up two
different style license plates we could choose from. Ilse made an
artistic selection and after a twenty dollar bill disappeared into
the void of government coffers, we received our new Georgia license plate.
As we traded pleasantries to say our goodbyes, I
turned and stepped on the biggest shoe I have ever seen. The bright
yellow color startled me as much as his huge black ears.
“I’m terribly sorry,” I said, “I didn’t
see you behind me!”
“Gosh!” he said in his instantly familiar
high-pitched voice, “That’s all right! I sure hope they take my
insurance card! I’ve heard it’s different up here.”
We looked back several times as the Magic Kingdom
icon stood on his tip toes to see over the counter. We could tell he
was listening to the same instructions we received as his ears began
to slowly fold down,”
“Maybe they are moving to Atlanta.” my wife
said. “It would serve DeSantis right.”