Moths to a Flame - Part 4, Nassau, Revisited, Again

 

The sun dramatically rises in front of us as we slowly approach Nassau. The barely perceptible light on the iconic, battered lighthouse flashes dimly in the breaking light as we glide silently, effortlessly past into the narrow Nassau channel.

The 990 foot long, 91 ton ship slows and turns around easily in the narrow channel. She backs into the dock as if by magic. All of the modern ships turn effortlessly within their own length, and they do it every day. The days of tugboats pushing and pulling with ropes and cables faded away years ago.

I usually sleep like a rock, but not on a cruise ship. I’m always awake before daybreak and wander around the top deck looking for opportunities to take photographs. I love to watch the sun rise at sea. Something new or interesting in the morning light usually catches my eye. Besides, I like having the whole boat to myself.

The cruise ships rarely enter port before dawn and this way I get to see when the pilot boats come alongside to allow us to pick up the local pilots who bring the huge ships into port. Ilse enjoys the time to sleep in a little bit, a nice break from the daily routine. And that brings me to another reason cruising is popular with us, time.

Time to sleep-in that doesn’t always happen at home. Breakfast here is just a few feet away, even in your cabin if you want it, and we don’t have to cook or drive anywhere. Breakfast can be just about anything we choose. We always eat in the main dining room the first day as Eggs Benedict are as much a tradition with me as my French Onion soup, and that is one of the few things not found in the informal breakfast line found on the upper decks. The breakfast serving line on deck ten had everything imaginable, but it is no longer self serve. Instead, mask-wearing servers wait patiently to serve what ever you point at, from coddled eggs to custom made French toast and different fares from Asia and the Far East. There are more servers than passengers.

No sooner are we docked in Nassau than another huge ship approaches us head-on as if we aren’t even there. She slows and begins spinning – turning is not the right word – and within minutes the Celebrity Silhouette slips quietly backwards into the dock across from us.

I check on Ilse, who has dressed, and we head down to eat breakfast as the ship’s captain announces disembarking the ship is now open. There are no long lines when there are less than a quarter of the regular passengers to disembark, but we always avoid the initial rush, usually by getting something to eat. We did not sign up for any shore excursions so we had no fixed schedule. We’ll walk into town after the we eat and the crowds have thinned out. We have until 3:30pm so we are in no rush.

We are the only passengers in sight as we disembark onto to the long, empty dock. We take our prerequisite photos next to the ship and wander into town for a nostalgic stroll along Bay Street, stopping to chat with the pigeon man, several police officers, and many clerks and store keepers. The first thing we notice is the bleachers that are usually assembled and in place along both sides of Bay Street this time of year for the Boxing Day Celebration known as Junkanoo, are missing. We are informed by several sad Bahamians that the day after Christmas celebration has been canceled for the second year in a row.

We are immediately struck by the change in attitudes from past visits here. Everyone we talk with is openly friendly. The sharp, usually abrasive marketing atmosphere has mostly disappeared. This is our third time in town, not counting flying in and out of the Nassau International airport where we would fly to Luxembourg, just a few kilometers from my wife's hometown, and the welcome change in the atmosphere seems to be universal. They are obviously glad to see cruise ship visitors back after a year and a half absence, even if there aren’t that many of us.

Nassau is undergoing another port reconstruction as well as major building projects along the waterfront area and in town itself. Even though Nassau is one of the most modern, up-to-date cities in the Caribbean, caution is still required when walking along the streets and pathways. One of our fellow passengers suffered a serious head injury just outside the entrance to the dock when he tripped on the uneven pavement and fell, striking his head. His wife joined him in the emergency ambulance as she requested a hospital check of his injury. They pulled away as we were showing our photo ID’s and ship’s room cards to reenter the port.

After we board, I wander off with my camera as Ilse retires to the cabin to do some restorative yoga. I watch as another ship approaches through the channel, but instead of turning and backing in, it charges up to the dock, raucous Caribbean party music blaring obnoxiously from loudspeakers apparently mounted on every square inch of the ship. The Carnival carnival arrives via the Conquest, a twenty year old ship famous for its youth oriented Guy's Burger Joint^™, Red Frog Rum Bar^® and SkyBox^™ Sports Bar and the Alchemy Bar^®. One of my fellow passengers dryly comments the ship is misnamed, he thinks it should renamed the Carnival Sideshow. Its appeal is definitely the other end of the cruising spectrum from the Millenium.

I head back to the cabin as I know Ilse’s yoga has come to an unexpected end. Our room is only yards away from the source of the oddly out of date music echoing between the ships. I take several photos and notice there is also a lack of passengers on the youth-oriented party boat, the Conquest is as empty as we are. The shop owners in Nassau are going to be disappointed.

Departure 3:47 pm - Someone stood patiently on the otherwise empty dock with his luggage for almost an hour. He was allowed to board at the last minute just as the boardwalk was being retracted. The weather was great, even with scattered showers in the distance. They moved away as we headed out past the lighthouse and turned north toward the Northeast Providence Channel that will take us to the Atlantic for our forty-hour trip to San Juan, Puerto Rico. 

We will have a day and a half at sea.

https://piddlepaddler.blogspot.com/2022/01/supernova-duo.html

Moths to a Flame - Part 3, Modern Times

Stepping out of the covered gangway onto the open deck of the Celebrity Millennium was both a nostalgic moment, and a gamble for us. We decided seven years earlier, after our last cruise, not to waste any more money on cruising. Were we wrong to once again to schedule a cruise? A cruise that was to be the longest we have ever taken? I’m sure the Millennium's waiting officers and staff had no idea what was going through our minds as we emerged from the gangway. This was our seventh cruise and we had high hopes.

We experienced a full spectrum of pleasure cruising on our first six cruises. We were surprised one time by huge, orange lifeboats blocking the view from our “ocean-view” staterooms and on another cruise by running out of sugar two days from the end of the cruise. But those issues didn't stop us from cruising. It was the last cruise ruined it for us. It was notorious for its atrocious food and poor service. The cruise line – which we had cruised with three times before – was trying to force everyone to upgrade to the specialty, extra cost restaurants by making regular dining unpalatable regardless of how much you paid for the cruise.

There have been industry-wide changes since our first cruise when we went to the ship’s drugstore and bought liquor to take back to our small room with two single beds and a port-hole. The industry no longer focuses on gambling as soon as the ship is outside the twelve mile limit and has become attuned to all ages of travelers and vacationers. Profit making is no longer an art, it is a science. Our last cruise proved to be too much squeezing for us. It simply was no longer fun or worth the cost. Besides, if we went camping instead, we could always bring our dogs. Cruising was no longer attractive to us. The cruise lines could no longer compete for our money.

But here we were, once again, seven years later. Like moths to a flame.

We were greeted on the deck of the Millennium by several teams of officers and staff, even assisting us with our carry-on luggage. There were no exotic cocktails with little umbrellas and servers immediately asking for your room number here. I was pleasantly surprised, not only by the Millennium greeting, but by my wife as well. She wandered off toward the bow of the ship, pulling her carry-on behind her, engrossed in her own world as I received directions from our greeters to our stateroom. It was all smiles – I’m going by the twinkling eyes here, everyone was masked – and pleasantries from the entire staff as we finally got organized and headed toward the aft elevators together, toward our home for the next ten days. The Millennium would be our first cruise with Celebrity cruises.

Celebrity’s stateroom package included the first level drink package, all tips included, and free, if somewhat restricted, WiFi, so we were apprehensive, at best. We were pleasantly surprised by Celebrity as they unexpectedly upgraded our cabin from Veranda to Concierge just before checking in and we were now a deck higher. The ship appeared to be almost empty except for the ever-present staff. All of the staff were masked the entire time, and most of the passengers we met as well. Ilse and I were the only passengers on the pool deck for most of the afternoon as we waited for our 4:30 departure. And our suitcase, of course, which was placed outside our cabin door well before we shoved off.

Welcome to the Millenium

There were scattered passengers around the top deck as we departed busy, cosmopolitan Ft. Lauderdale headed for our first stop of the cruise, the seemingly mandatory stop in Nassau. We feel like old hands at Nassau. Watching the preparations for Junkanoo is always fun and our timing was right on for the third time.

We struck up a conversation with another couple on the top deck as we waited for departure and everything seemed normal except for the odd lack of passengers. We stayed on the deck until Florida began to fade in the distance and setting sun as we were once again seduced by heading toward the open ocean.

We selected early dinner, served at six pm at the Metropolitan dining room on the 5th deck as we love the service of a wait staff that knows our names. We later found the second seating had been eliminated altogether as there were not enough passengers to warrant it. The Metropolitan dining room on the 4th deck served as an open dining room until 11:00 pm. The first night is always casual as we found on past cruises, not everyone gets their luggage delivered to their cabin in time to change for dinner.

At berth in Ft. Lauderdale

Ilse was disappointed when we were taken to our table for two, which turned out to be two tables, pushed together, side by side. The Maitre d’ had the two tables respectively separated and the wait staff immediately removed any vestige of seating at the adjoining table.

The couple we had met on deck as we departed Fort Lauderdale walked up just as we were meeting our waiter, Dave, and his ever-smiling assistant, Luh. The couple asked if we minded if they joined us. We did mind as we had different visions of our first dinner on ship, but never-the-less, we graciously, if somewhat reluctantly, invited them to join us. We inadvertently created problems for the wait staff as they now had no choice but to add the settings back to the table they had just cleared. They only dined with us that first night and did not return for any more dinners, but their settings were in place each night should they return.

As far as the dining was concerned, I had no choice but to perform my French Onion Soup analysis. My analysis has become the benchmark by which the rest of the cruise shall be measured. I never turn down the opportunity to order the soup and although I ordered it on the Millennium with great trepidation, my fears were unfounded. The French Onion soup on was delicious. So were all the meals we ate in the Metropolitan dining room. Score a big one for Celebrity Cruise Lines.

We spent the evening exploring the ship and taking in a little of the evening show. As we headed around the central staircase – I won’t call it an atrium – we heard familiar voices coming from the entertainment podium. It was Daniela and Seba, Supernova Duo, who we met back in 2014 during their very first contract. We walked around the corner and Seba recognized us. We have been friends on Facebook and have followed each other for several years. We chatted and laughed and made plans to meet when they had a break in their schedule. A really great surprise and definitely a highlight of the trip.

Ilse and I returned to our cabin where we made short order of our complimentary sparkling wine, sitting in the lounge chairs on the balcony enjoying the ocean and wondering where all the other ships were. There are usually several other brightly lit ships on the horizon, headed for Caribbean ports unknown, but there was only one other ship and we soon lost sight of it. The usually busy channel between Florida and the Bahamas was eerily dark.

By 11:30 pm, we were 90 miles from Ft Lauderdale and the weather was wonderful. We found out there were only five hundred passengers on board our ship with a capacity for over two thousand! With over nine hundred crew, it was like having our own giant, private yacht! Great us, but not for the industry. No wonder the ocean was dark.

https://piddlepaddler.blogspot.com/2022/01/moths-to-flame-part-4-nassau-revisited.html

Moths to a Flame - Part 2, Not The Millennium Falcon

It did not take long after boarding the Millennium to realize the ship was exactly what we were looking for, or rather, what we had missed on our last cruise some seven years ago. Launched in 2001, she is the oldest ship in the Celebrity Cruise Line fleet, but you would never know it. The mid-size ship was completely upgraded and modernized in early 2019, spending over a month in dry dock and 60 million dollars being refitted and modernized. After spending most of 2020 and early 2021 waiting out the COVID 19 at San Diego, the Millennium was one of the first cruise ships to reenter service in late 2021.

I couldn’t help but smile as we boarded her. I wondered if this wasn’t also like an old space ship, designed to transport its passengers through space and time, but in luxury and cleanliness as opposed to the worn-out space freighter, the Millennium Falcon, made famous by the 1977 Star Wars movie. In contrast, the Celebrity Millennium carries its 2,138 passengers in contemporary style and luxury.

We joined the Celebrity Millennium in Port Everglades at Fort Lauderdale, Florida two weeks before Christmas, 2021. Our first scheduling attempt didn’t work out, but we were pleased to find our friends Seba and Daniela, the Supernova Duo, were still entertaining onboard as we enthusiastically signed up for an eastern Caribbean ten day cruise. With the fear and anxiety of the COVID pandemic setting the tone for several weeks of concern and worry, about whether or not we would even get on board the ship, the actual process turned out to be beautifully handled. Let’s start at the beginning though, back before our enlightenment.

We knew our required passports were up-to-date, and would not expire within six months of our sailing, so that was no problem. The COVID requirements were no problem, either, as we were both vaccinated as soon as the vaccine was available. We had the booster shot as well. We also had the flu shot, which we do annually. The only problem was having proof of a negative COVID test within 48 hours of departure. Neither my wife nor I had ever been tested for COVID and we simply weren’t sure how to go about getting tested and proving we were safe. While we follow the mask protocol religiously, we still interact with people who travel or could otherwise be carriers. Of the three required items, we had two – the passports and the proof of vaccination – but the negative test caused us grief simply because we did not know what to expect. What would happen if either one of us failed the test?

We confirmed our trip cancellation insurance covered testing positive for COVID-19, which was a financial safety blanket, but the anxiety of being stuck in port as the ship sailed away without us doggedly clouded our enthusiasm. Celebrity made testing kits available for less than one hundred dollars, but several friends told us they had to order multiple test kits as the first kits received were defective. We were leaving on a Monday, so we had no desire to scramble on Sunday to find a testing location. We called several testing companies and made arrangements at a walk-in clinic for testing first thing Saturday morning. Of course that turned into a two and a half hour wait before we were presented with our certificate of a negative COVID test. With our priceless certificates in hand, all we had to do was get to the boat some 200 miles away.

We have used Cruise Connection, run by the ESCOT bus line, several times in the past to travel to and from the ports of Ft Lauderdale and Miami. Easy and convenient, the service picks up customers at local locations along Florida’s west coast and brings them directly to the port terminal. They bring you back at the end of your cruise as well. Our problem was the bus line was just restarting as were the cruise lines themselves and there was some confusion on whether they would run a bus on the days we needed transportation. Running a first class bus service from Florida’s west coast to the ports depends on customers, and when we called for reservations were first informed they weren’t servicing our area for Celebrity cruises. After several phone calls the situation changed and we were in business. Neighbors graciously agreed to take us the local bus stop and everything was in place.

Perhaps the pressures and constant conflict about the COVID pandemic just wouldn’t let us relax. We were concerned about every little thing, especially after we later missed a call from Cruise Connection asking us to call them back as soon as possible. This was on the weekend prior to our departure and did nothing for our nerves until we found out they had simply moved our scheduled pickup time back an hour. That made it a little easier for our wonderful friends, at least.

The huge, cross country tour bus had seven passengers when we got on, and we stopped only once to pick up two more for the ride to Fort Lauderdale. An indicator of things to come. The trip across the Everglades is always fun when you don’t have to drive, and I don’t mind letting someone else do the task while I sit back and watch traffic.

Port Everglades, the name of the port in Fort Lauderdale, was under a massive rebuild the last time we were there and I had no desire to fight the madness, but all that is in the past. The port is modern and easy to negotiate, I could have driven and parked in the parking garage almost across the walk-way from the terminal. Personally, anything to ease getting on board is my choice and using Cruise Connection is one less thing to worry about. 

Five minutes after arriving, we were in the terminal showing our passports and COVID papers and test results. We were slightly ahead of our scheduled arrival time but it created no problems. After receiving our cruise identification cards and passing through several staging areas, we were walking up the gangplank to our next cruise adventure.

We were surprised by how empty the terminal was. It appeared COVID had dampened everyone's desire to cruise. We would soon find out.

More to come 

Next https://piddlepaddler.blogspot.com/2022/01/moths-to-flame-cruise-7-part-3-old.html 

​Moths to a Flame – Part 1, The Inspiration

Like moths to a flame, we are once again drawn to spending time on the only place on earth you can see the dark blue of the world’s oceans: the world’s oceans themselves. We are again going cruising, even after having been dismayed and discouraged by the debacle of our last cruise back in 2014, where for a daily cost of almost five hundred dollars a day, we were fed food that was just plain awful. My wife and I had decided to reenact our memorable first cruise aboard the old Norwegian Cruise Lines Sunward II twenty-five years earlier, but things have changed. Out of four main dining room meals, we sent three of them back as inedible. We unbelievably lost weight on a cruise, a holiday Christmas holiday cruise at that! If it had not been for custom made pizzas and pasta on the Lido deck, we might have starved. Obviously we’ve changed cruise lines for our upcoming cruise.

Ilse with the M/S Sunward II, Nassau, November 1989. Our first Cruise.

We met two young, talented musicians from Patagonia during that otherwise lackluster cruise, a delightful, married couple who sang and played guitar. We had friendly chats with Dani and Seba between sets and ended up watching them whenever we had the chance. We enjoyed their personalities, and we loved their music. We have followed them as SuperNova Duo on Facebook ever since, even through the trials and tribulations of the Covid epidemic which has altered our entire world. 

We watched them from thousands of miles away as they did a tour with Disney Cruises, and later, after Covid struck, when they were at home in Bariloche in the beautiful, snowy mountains of Argentina.  

They announced earlier this year they were coming to Florida with Celebrity Cruises, doing the mandatory quarantines and reassignments off the Florida coast. They were booked on the Celebrity Millennium, headed to Alaska. That’s when our deep seated wanderlust decided to flare up yet once again.

Ilse on the tender "Little Norway" approaching the S/S Norway, St. Thomas, USVI, 1992

An Alaska cruise had always been on our to do list, at least until 2014 when our desire to cruise was prematurely extinguished. I began to study the Millennium. She appears to be an older, medium size ship at around two thousand passengers. She’s perfect for us. No way are we getting on a ship that engorges – and disgorges – five thousand passengers at a time. We decided to pursue the possibility of cruising Alaska, one of our two bucket list cruises - the other is a full transit of the Panama Canal - perhaps in a year or two after the world has stabilized enough to get back on a boat. Covid restrictions and precautions are absolutely paramount to us, we have absolutely no desire to contract the disease. Period.

We were curious about the Millennium's itinerary and when the winter schedule announced the ship was being re-positioned for eastern Caribbean cruises, we decided to finally treat ourselves to a long overdue cruise. We carefully selected a ten-day cruise with lots of open ocean time and several ports we haven't yet visited. 

We also researched Celebrity Cruise Lines and we liked what we found. While many of the changes we’ve come to dislike or avoid are now industry wide standards, Celebrity appears to offer more of our style and relaxation for a more inclusive, higher but still reasonable cost. The extra cost drink packages – and especially WiFi packages, can still blow an unsuspecting cruiser’s budget out of the water, so to speak, but the regular fare, passage services and amenities seem far more in line with what remember from past cruises.

George at Ocho Rios, Jamaica, M/S Seaward, 1993

We have long avoided the “Private Island” beach day where you eat hotdogs and get sand in your bathing suit. We got off the ship for the beach picnic on our very first cruise way back when, but we have no need to compete with the multitudes who stampede ashore for a day of fun and sun. Those stops are a great day to do on-board stuff as the ship is practically empty. No problem, the Millennium doesn’t have a stop scheduled for the subsidized alternative to a real port of call. Our first stop will still be in the Bahamas, but in Nassau. We don't need to disembark in Nassau. Been there, done that, got the straw hat. 

In San Juan, Puerto Rico, M/S Star Princess, 2004

Then we head to old San Juan where we will get to do want we want, COVID restrictions not withstanding. We simply ran out of time during our first visit there and decided to come back someday. Believe me, that’s so much better than wondering what to do after being ashore for an hour amid the jewelry and perfume shops that define the boundary of your security. Been there and done that, too.

Beach Day in Eluthera, M/S Crown Princess, 2012

So we get to cruise and occasionally watch the flying fish while we sit on our balcony and wonder about the phenomenal colors of the deep ocean. In the evening we get to listen to two talented entertainers who are going to wonder about the two enthusiastic, old people sitting in the back, clapping and smiling, and think, “Do we know those people?”

Ilse with the M/S Norwegian Sky, Nassau, 2014 

We'll get the chance to tell them in person they were the spark that got us back doing what we love.

George

Next - https://piddlepaddler.blogspot.com/2022/01/moths-to-flame-cruise-7-part-2-not.html

State of the Art - Manga, Manga

 

I was bewildered after my wife and I walked into our local BAM this afternoon. Yes, BAM, and therein lies a hint the message on my brand-new T-shirt is painfully accurate. My wife’s new 79^th birthday gift to me has “It’s Weird Being the Same Age as Old People” printed boldly across the front.

BAM is the new, hip, catchy name of what used to be Books A Million. That name change took place well before COVID so I’m just making excuses here, but what is new are the third, fourth, and five aisles of the store labeled FUNKO and MANGA. In the distance, I saw BUSINESS and COMPUTERS sections so I knew I wasn’t in a grocery store by mistake.

There must have been several thousand titles in the MANGA section, along with several groups of teenagers chatting and comparing books. I stopped a clerk working several aisles over and asked her to please bring me up to the twenty-first century. She adjusted her face mask and led me back to the FUNKO section.

“Looks like a toy store, doesn’t it?” as she waved her hand along shelves filled with plastic characters and avatars from a distant universe. “They’re supposed to be collectibles,” she said. “They sell pretty well, I guess.” She turned to the two full rows of shelves behind us marked MANGA. “At least these are books, sort of.”

“What genre are they?” I asked. The teenagers stopped chatting and looked at us as if we were infringing in their domain. One group moved to the end of the row of shelves. I think the clerk smiled behind her COVID mask, at least her eyes sparkled as if she was smiling. It is a young person’s style,” she said as she pulled a book off the shelf and handed it to me. “It isn’t for everybody.”

“Oh,” I said as if I knew what I was talking about, “It’s Y-A, Young Adult!”

“Not really,” she answered. “They’re picture books.”

I thumbed through one book, and then another, stunned by the graphic, pen and ink art panels with minimal or no dialogue printed anywhere. They looked like comic books in 6” x 9” format. The books seemed to be in sets, with one title having fifteen or twenty subsets. There are thousands of them.

“I’m stunned. I had no idea this type of book even existed.” I said

“Well, it is one way to get kids to read,” she said as she walked away. “Look on the wall across from us, there is another type of book in the same style over there.”

The whole back wall behind us was a sectioned labeled “Graphic Novels.” I thumbed through several of those as well. The only quick difference I saw was they were printed in color instead of black and white.

I thought the birthday T-shirt was cute, but now it reminds me of an old sweatshirt my mom wore that said “My Go-Go got up and Went-Went.” I have a feeling my go-go got up and went-went just about the time they renamed he store to BAM.

https://www.nypl.org/blog/2018/12/27/beginners-guide-manga#:~:text=Manga%20is%20an%20umbrella%20term,only%20used%20for%20special%20releases.

College football in Florida

 

Disgusted, I turned off my TV and decided to find out if my next door neighbor was watching a College football game. Of the four local channels I get over the air on the “Big” four local networks, I could only find games like Slipstich U vs Podunk St. from somewhere west of the Mississippi.

My neighbor was busy making noise and sawdust, but he turned off his sander when he saw me walk into his garage.

“Hey, man, what's up?” he asked, lifting his sawdust-framed glasses so he could see.

“Do you watch Saturday college football?” I asked.

“Nah, man my son goes to UCF in Orlando and my daughter graduated from USF in Tampa. They don’t show those games here in southwest Florida.

“Yeah, I know,” I answered. I’m from Miami and they don’t show any of our games here either. They don’t show anything from the Canes or FIU or even FAU in Boca. They don’t even televise any of the conference games, the SEC, AAC, ACC or Conference USA.

“Well, you know,” he answered, “They cater to the snowbirds, even if they aren’t here yet. They show college football games nobody locally cares about. Maybe it’s cheaper that way.”

“In the old days at least we got to see the Gators or the ‘Noles, but they don’t even show those anymore.” I answered. “By the way, do you know anybody from Utah or New Mexico?”

“Nah, Why?

“How about El Paso or Iowa?” I asked.

He laughed and pulled his glasses down. “Why do you think I don’t watch Saturday College football?”

“Later, Man!”

The sander drowned out any lingering conversation. Maybe YouTube on the Internet might have something to watch.

George Mindling

Port Charlotte, FL

​Fooling Mother Nature

According to C.W. Hawes, writing in Tag: Writing for Men, “Male readers prefer, for the most part, the genres of adventure, humor, horror, and science fiction. They also tend to shy away from books that are focused on relationships (such as romance).” 

Anytime I see a writer use initials instead of a full name, I assume the writer simply doesn’t want to be categorized by gender, a practice used for many years by women who didn’t want to be excluded or belittled by a male-dominated industry.

I assume C.W. is British as he/she uses the term “throw a spanner,” which few Americans understand. (spanner is a British term for an open-end wrench). Many male Americans my age can sing the lyrics to Dire Straits’ Industrial Disease without knowing what was thrown, but is that a sign men don’t read? Maybe they just don’t read what women read.

First, C.W. Hawes is male, and second, he is not British. Born in Ohio, he now lives in Texas. I have no idea why he used the term "spanner" instead of wrench, but I’m sure it fit the need. When Joanne Rowling published her first book, the publishers decided to use initials instead of her real name. This was to disguise her being a female so the Harry Potter novels would appeal to a young, male audience, who the publishers had decided would be the primary market. Joanne is now known to the entire world as J.K. Rowling. Many of her readers do not know her first name.

“For most of history, Anonymous was a woman,” wrote Virginia Woolf. So, have we gone half-cycle? Do male authors need to use abbreviations now just to get an agent to call back? One of my favorite writer’s magazines - yes, I have a subscription – lists a current issue’s article’s authors as: Jera, Catherine, Kara, Sharon, Whitney, Amy, Cassandra, Barbara, Estelle, Sadie, Kristie, and Robert. That's ten to one against male writers. What's the opposite of misogynistic?

I don’t have the figures for the book publishing universe about gender diversity, but the realm of writing, editing and marketing has flash-banged into a new reality. I wonder how Tom Clancy would have broken into the Best Sellers lists if his books about submarines and warfare had been universally seen as insensitive or unemotional, basically considered unmarketable in today’s writing environment? Kind of smells too much like machine oil and grimy hands for today's book buying public?

I really think if a man had written Fifty Shades of Grey, he’d have been physically accosted and emotionally assaulted until he “crumbled asunder” in front of the “Me, Too!” movement. A man would have had to have hidden behind his initials just like the women used to do... Oh, wait a minute! E. L. James wrote the now famous, blog-inspired, self-published phenomena that jumped not just to the corporate publishing world, but the movies as well. Erika Mitchell, E.L James’s real name, just threw a wrench into the works. Or was it a spanner?

:)

​Our “American” History - The Patriot's Tour

We started our “Patriot’s Tour” in Charlottesville, Virginia, originally planning on seeing James Madison’s estate at Montpelier first, but it was closed when we arrived, so we decided to drive the short distance to see Thomas Jefferson's Monticello instead. Monticello, the nationally revered plantation home of Thomas Jefferson, one of the creators of our Constitution, and third President of the United States was next on the list. We were following the American Revolution and the great thinkers who founded our country. I always had this trip in the back of my mind and we finally had the opportunity to wander through Virginia at our leisure. Unfortunately, Charlottesville is also the center of the American rebirth of blatant racism which blossomed under President Donald Trump just a few, short years ago. The irony wasn't lost on us.

Monticello isn’t a National Monument open to the public as is the Smithsonian in Washington. While it isn't Disney World prices, it certainly makes one wonder if there are musical rides and talking robots waiting in the corridors ahead. There is a sliding scale for entrance to help alleviate the financial cost depending on what you want to see. While we expected nominal entrance fees, my wife and I were surprised with the cost to see such a “National” treasure. The price of a forty-five minute guided tour of the main floor – and the basement of the homestead – was inconsistent with what we have experienced at other historic sites.

https://www.monticello.org/visit/tickets-tours/monticello-pass/

It appears to be an excursion into history reserved for the more affluent. According to their website, the attraction is run by “Thomas Jefferson Foundation, Inc., which owns over 2,500 acres of Jefferson's 5,000-acre plantation. As a private, nonprofit 501(c)3 corporation, the Foundation receives no ongoing federal, state, or local funding in support of its dual mission of preservation and education.” There are extra costs to see the second and third floors, and additional costs to see the gardens. We simply felt like we were being taken advantage of using our patriotism and desire to immerse in our history to their financial profit.

In a moment of enlightenment, Ilse and I decided to visit the where General Robert E. Lee surrendered the Army of Virginia to end the Civil War. We decided to head south to Appomattox, the symbolic location of the end of slavery in the United States. Slavery, the economic system that supplied most of the free labor that sustained the plantation style of the Confederacy, was defeated and the Union was saved just a little further south of our planned trip.

 
Our journey south started innocently enough by simply asking Waze how to get there from where we were, and had the pleasure of one of the nicest drives of our vacation as we headed down the four-lane divided highway toward Lynchburg. Highway US 29 was a pleasant, easy ride and I was minding my manners, toodling comfortably along in the right lane with a Virginia State trooper just behind us, when I was abruptly informed by our guidance system to turn left in three hundred feet. I waited until the trooper went around us and we made our turn into unknown territory. Why are we taking State Road 739 and where does it go?

When we came to the one-lane railroad underpass that had a sign that read “One way traffic - Blow your horn!” we knew we were in rural Virginia. I was glad we weren’t towing our travel trailer as we slowly proceeded under the old railroad bridge when my muse tapped me on the shoulder - she pops up whenever she wants me to pay attention and asked, "Is this the actual railroad that US Army General George Custer captured, the one the desperately needed Confederate supply train was on, that altered the course of the war?" 

The next thirty miles or so of twisty, backwoods, two lane road was a slow-motion thrill. The beauty of the area, and seeing the cleanliness and pride of the residents is worth a trip of its own. But, soon, I needed gas.

We pulled into the town of Appomattox and drove past the gas station I wanted. We doubled back to fill up the gas tank. It isn’t a busy place. We checked our road map – yes, I use one religiously - and compared the local road signs that seemed to point off somewhere in that direction over there somewhere… and decided to go that way.

After one stop at a memorial marker on the top of a hill, we saw the main park entrance a half-mile away.

That's where the U.S. Park service recreated the Appomattox Courthouse and the surrounding buildings in 1964. The original buildings were burned down some thirty-five years after the end of the Civil War, but by whom is still considered a mystery. It seems to fit the time frame of the pinnacle of power of the resurgent Klan which continued well into the twentieth century. Today it is called the Ku Klux Klan, but at its height of popularity forty years after the surrender at Appomattox it was simply called the Ku Klux. 

The location at Appomattox is authentic and the buildings have been rebuilt. The old stagecoach road has been isolated and maintained as it once was. I’m sure the buildings look better than they did in 1865, but they only symbolically portray the image of the four-year long war’s conclusion that was unexpectedly thrust upon them in a world-shaping event.

Missing from the Appomattox historic site is the soul. I had no feeling of wonder there. The buildings are freshly painted and properly maintained and the grounds are immaculate. The Crepe Myrtles flower beautifully along the parking lot, but there is no overpowering feeling of remorse or sorrow, joy or triumph. It is simply there. The heart was burned out by the white supremacists whose grandchildren marched four years ago in Charlottesville.

There is a gaping hole in our identity that we have yet to heal. It will take more than new buildings and fresh paint. We were awakened to the cruel reality that slavery slowly and methodically has morphed before our very eyes into a sadistic, vengeful retribution of defeat known today as white supremacy.

Perhaps Appomattox isn't really that far from Charlottesville after all.