How innocent we were just a few short years ago when we cautiously signed up for Facebook, and how thrilled we were to see our very own images and comments on the Internet. Photographs of our families and friends were welcomed and enjoyed, so much so that we actually looked forward to logging on every chance we had to see if something new had been posted, or if someone had commented on one of our priceless posts. How proud we were to first endorse our political candidates, naively and blissfully thinking our Facebook friends felt the same way.
Facebook is now an unexpected, and often unwanted, display of the current state of rudeness and ignorance that dominates our popular American culture. In fact, there is no better medium to judge the current state of American callousness than the popular free Internet service used by just about anyone with a Personal Computer or a Smart Phone. If you have ever posted any political viewpoints or supported a political candidate on your Facebook page, you know what I'm writing about. It's rapidly becoming Face-Off book.
Just like the old CB radios, the lowest common denominators quickly rose to the top with personal insults and soon made it impossible to post a political or social view without someone wanting to pee on your pant leg. The first time it happens you can't help but be shocked. “Why am I being insulted, if not actually verbally assaulted by someone I thought was a friend?” The answer is easy: They never had Personal Effectiveness Training.
The company I retired from spent a
considerable amount of time and money sending every employee to a
PEP, or Personal Effectiveness Program so we would learn not to
call our customers stupid. Customers have a nasty habit
of throwing your products out in the street after a frustrated employee
ignominiously calls them untrained or incompetent or even worse, an idiot.
Company revenues always suffer from that response, no matter how
accurate it may be.
That's how I ended up in the seventies in the Admiral Bimbo hotel in Atlanta with a roommate who drank a 1.75 liter bottle of vodka in just two
days. We were sent to Atlanta from all over our region to attend the mandatory civility class to
learn not to tell anyone to go stick it in their ear. I'm not sure
how much my roomie absorbed, other than the 90 proof Smirnoff, - yes, in those days it was 90 proof - but I
did my best to benefit from the course. I learned to listen carefully
when confronted with people who were their own worst enemies, at
least technically. I was once coached by a manager who advised me to get my point across without swinging a bat. She actually said a 2x4, but there are many who don't know what that is.
The training helped me through the years with more than just irate customers who had inadvertently unplugged their own machines or created situations that were occasionally hazardous. I learned to suffer the sting of uninformed Khans who dared not lose face in front of their collective hordes. But I never expected the training to be as important as it is today, thanks mainly to Facebook.
The training helped me through the years with more than just irate customers who had inadvertently unplugged their own machines or created situations that were occasionally hazardous. I learned to suffer the sting of uninformed Khans who dared not lose face in front of their collective hordes. But I never expected the training to be as important as it is today, thanks mainly to Facebook.
After someone belligerently or
insultingly contradicts something I post on Facebook, I go to that
person's homepage to see where they stand politically or socially.
Not surprisingly, many dumpers don't post their viewpoints on their
own pages, but they don't hesitate a second to pollute your page to
show you the errors of your ways. I call these types “snipers.”
They shoot at you from unseen positions and you have no idea how they
picked you as a target. After all, they're on your friends list,
aren't they?
If on the other hand, the comment
they post on my page is an intelligent, factual comment or viewpoint,
I'll leave it up, and comment on their post. All too often though,
the comment is at best inaccurate, at times irrelevant, and at worst,
slanderous.
So, what's up? You didn't intend
your personal beliefs or opinions to be posted in a sports bar full
of rowdy customers upset their team just got the devil beat out of
them, but face it, these are new times and, unfortunately that's what
has happened. Your beliefs and opinions are no longer for just your
friends. In reality, Facebook, and just about anything else on the
Internet is as impersonal as texting. People who wouldn't insult you
to your face have no reservations about discussing the error of your
thinking in front of a room full of people they don't know. That
“room” is rather big as it encompasses everyone who can see your
Facebook account. You know, millions and millions of "friends."
Responding to a contradictory post
is balanced on the question of how much you value your friend. If
they really can't refrain from attacking you or others who comment on
your positions, I simply delete them as friends. It's all self
explanatory, isn't it? If they don't care about my feelings, why
should I bother about theirs? Their statements show who they really are,
not who they think they are. Or, you can indignantly defend yourself
and argue your point. If you paid close attention to the PEP
training, you can adeptly tell them to stick it in their ear and make
them look forward to the experience. Arguing, though, is a
waste of time. You aren't going to change anyone's mind. As William McAdoo said, "It is impossible to
defeat an ignorant man in argument." Here's where I think back
to my PEP and wonder if it's even worth a response.
When someone posts offensive or
incorrect responses on my page, I can't help but think they never
heard President Abraham Lincoln's quote, “Better to remain silent
and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
Sometimes I have to remember that
myself.
